I just really really need help i HATE feeling like this i just hate it i dont know where to go to for help though im just crumbling more and more each day i just need someone to talk to so bad, im actually crying as i type this. I cry myself to sleep everynight i know it sounds pathetic but its true.
Im 15 and i feel like my life is over. I feel like i screwed up my life and im so scared and everytime i think about it my heart sinks and my throat closes up. I went to a private school most my life and it goes all the way up until 12th grade. The highschool part of it is HORRIBLE HORRIBLE. its so unorganized they have teachers teaching 5 different subjects and plus its a junior high campus too and most of the highschool teachers also teach junior high. Its horrible they dont have any activities or clubs and the sports are horrible and it looks like a prison.they dont have a football field,track,or pool,or anything:( I dont learn anything and i dont do anything. I try to hold back the tears each day. Its just awful :( i just want to kill myself. I want to be a fun athletic sporty girl thats involved with things at a nice highschool. There is a really nice new public highschool right by my house that has so many things and activites and good sports. Right now im in 10th grade at the school i go to now but im really supposed to be in 9th grade cuz my bday isnt until january i started kinder early thats why. And im so mad at my self cause i havent learned anything or done anything at all and im not stupid i get good grades but the curriculum and stuff doesnt even make sense i have to teach it to myself.
I feel like i wasted my life and it over now.I dont know if i should go to that new highschool this upcoming year as a sophmore because technically thats what my age is right for then i will graduate when im 18 . I just want to have a fun young life :( and have friends and be involved and play sports at a good nice highschool so i can say that i had fun but i also got good grades
I dont know what to do im literally shaking right now i need help so bad my head hurts and im crying and im just so lost :( and i hate being like this it drives me crazy i just want to kill myself but i dont want to die i just want to end the pain and stress